1. Is this going to be on the exam?
2. Do I have to take notes?
3. Are you going to collect the homework?
4. I was not in class. Did you do anything important?
5. Why do I have to learn this? It's so hard and I am NOT a math major!
6. I haven't had calculus before. Is this going to be a problem?
7. Can we have an open book exam?
8. Can I do a project for extra credit?
9. Why are your questions different from Professor X ?
10. How come we had a question on the test that was different from any question we ever did in the homework?
11. Why are you so unreasonable?
12. Do you flunk anyone?
13. Is the final cumulative?
14. I have to miss a quiz/test. Can I take a make-up?
15. How can I get a tutor?
16. I know an easier way to do problem X that I learned in high school. Can I do it that way instead?
17. Are there any applications of this stuff in REAL LIFE? If so, why don't we do any?

Note: This faq was adapted in part from a file which was sent around campus via email from Tony Arrington. I don't remember the source, but would like to credit whoever originally wrote the snappier of these answers.